Today was our one week mark of quarantine. It's officially been 7 days of this new norm, and I thought it was worth recording some observations and noticings...
-I've only left the house 3 or 4 times, I think. Two grocery store visits, a pharmacy run, and a trip to the hardware store to buy some supplies to garden this spring.
-It's been hard to work from home, but I've adjusted. I've found that making a schedule each night for the next day has been my saving grace. Even if I don't keep it exactly, I find the structure makes the day more productive and rewarding.
-I miss my students. BIG. It's hard to be separated from everyone and I feel that most with my students. I can call and talk to family and friends, but it's killing me to not have that with my kiddos.
-I've adjusted to this new norm (to some extent) much quicker than I thought I would. I walk the dog in the morning and sit outside to drink my coffee. Tonight I sat on the front porch and shivered in the night air just because I wanted to.
-I've found some creative ways to find meaning seperated from others. I'm starting to do online Zoom Bible studies with ladies at church, and while it feels weird and different from face-to-face time, it's also my favorite thing I've added to life since quarantine. Last night, as we all looked at each other and chatted after the study, I looked at one lady and tears were coming down her face. "I've missed you all so much," she choked out. It was heartbreaking. It's hurting us all to be apart.
-Connections are making all the difference. I'm intentionally making sure that, as an extrovert who craves human interaction, I am super careful to not go to long without talking to someone. I call people, I do zoom meetings, I email, I blog, I tweet, I facebook....all the things that make me feel like I'm connecting. And, it's working somehow. I get to the end of the day, and I feel so thankful for all the wonderful people in my life.
-I'm still a little scared. I feel like I'm not ready for what's coming because I don't know what's coming. I'm afraid for my parents and my family who are all far away. I'm a little afraid of things getting "out of hand"---whatever that means. It's the unknowns.
-I've put some thought into what life might be like after this. Will hugs come easy or a little tentatively? What scars will we carry? What things have our children internalized? How will this affect life going forward....will this be a moment in time like 9/11? One of those before and after defining moments, or a blip on a radars in a decade where we all look back and laugh, kind of like Y2K? I think maybe somewhere in the middle...but I have no idea at all.
-I'd like to say that this all feels comfortable, but I think I'm a little ways from that. I try to avoid these thoughts most of the time and take it one day at a time. It's all I know to do. Breathe. Trust. Focus on the good. Prepare how I know how. Do my job and love my students. And then breathe, again.
It's going to be okay.
So much of what you are thinking and feeling is exactly where I am. I practically could have written this post. I'm really grateful for my faith- it's keeping me going through these pretty hard days!
ReplyDeleteSo many mixed thoughts and emotions we have to recognise and accept. I appreciate your honesty in this reflection.
ReplyDeleteI've thought this too:
ReplyDelete"Will hugs come easy or a little tentatively?"
How will human contact change in the midst of this? The aftermath of this?
I don't know.
Kevin